Two, Dos, II, Ni

Its 2.15am now
Sincerely i thank god for arriving home safely without any trouble with cops as well.
Not to forget that i actually had like 6 glasses of hard liquor. Yeah, i did feel a little light headed for a good 15 mins. But soon after its all alright.

Of course I wished i was still in that drowsy condition, at least till I came home and fall asleep.

...

..

.

I never wanted to go since the time i got the invite. Probably bout 130% of confirmation. But he's been a good buddy to me. Bros before hoes. Lol. Yeah, go vote for Barack instead of Hillary.

It never change a single bit. Same old feeling never failed to struck me, after goddamn fucking 2 half to 3 years (3Y).
Well, how bout adding in another additional different case? I will call it the 5 months (5m)


Miux, you blardy sucked big time. Friggin loser whose still carrying the guilt behind his back.


I still couldnt forgive myself. All these while I tried so hard to let all of these to go. But nothing seems to change. Been avoiding and and cutting all sorts of communication with 3Y and somehow it just got worse.

I dunno if i did enjoy myself earlier on. Half of the time i was just looking at the time, hoping it would reach 1pm faster and everything will end there.
The drinks was good in a sense that you do tend to forget everything on that moment and go light headed.

Probably another half of the time i was tryin to suppress or wipe away my emotions, distracting myself and clenching my hands together.

If on a scale of being down, it would probably be at least 8.

With 5M, its probably the guilt of wasting opportunity and being a drag.
Shit, could never forgive myself for causing all these.
Don't get me wrong. I couldnt be any happier for him and her. Its just me, thats all.

Since 2 years ago, i realised i never quite fit into any group of frens or acquaintances. I refused to make that as a fact. And everything ended up as trying too hard. My sis was probably right all the way long. We were more different from the rest of the social majorities.

Anyway it does feel much better saying it out to the cyberspace.
And i assumed that this post gonna create another tiny commotion. So yeah, two choices:

1.) Try to take this as a random 'light' reading without any relation to me
2.) Ignore this post, as technically its written by the drunken me anyway. Seriously, I could be rambling bout nothing

Shit, i'm so gonna drive the girls away with this post :P But i have to do this, there's no other way i could release my feelings out. Half of the ppl said i'm emotionless, and i will say that sometimes keeping it in is a better option.

I would never want to lose any friends as well because of my issues. That explains why I hesitated a lot when it comes to talking bout this.

Anyway, good day to you all. I'm gonna hit the sacks now and hopefully tmrw morning i would be able to say to myself again "I'm going to have a happy day today"