My First Emo Post

...after 2 years

Remember the short stories and poems we used to read back in form 1 or 2?
"The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost

I understand the message in it. But what if we didnt intend or wanted to take the uncommon road in the first place?

Yes, I always somehow so 'conveniently' landed at those rough terrible roads.

Let me give u an obvious incident. Its the first month uni, barely any good news. Till i received an email from World Resorts Bhd (also known as Genting) regarding bout a scholarship interview. That sort of thing doesnt come by everyday u know. Finally a glimpse of hope for gettin a scholarship.

But the catch, its an entire day interview process. Includes both individual and group interview which starts by 8 and register by 7.30am at Genting on Sunday!!!
Gawd, how is it possible to reach there on time?

Furthermore its on a Sunday. And during the deciding week of goin for it or not, there came an announcement from our faculty, saying there's a compulsory talk for all the first year students on Sunday itself.

Perfect, just perfect! Now its even a tougher decision. As many seniors said the talk is really important.

I went on with the talk and ditch the interview. Reason: I have instinct and feelings not wanting to go for the interview, my mum advised its too much of a hassle to get there that early, furthermore i'm already thru with my Shell scholarship interview, so its more like a gamble on it i suppose.

So yeah, went on with the talk. It was alrite i suppose.The usual stuffs. Till the dean started talking bout this Kelab Pelajar Tahun Satu (KPTS), encouraging ppl to join for it. Something like a first year student council for my faculty.

I dunno whats gotten into me, as soon as they announced bout it, my blood was rushing, heart pumping, overflowed with strong instincts and feelings again but way crazier. It was the wanting of being involve in this KPTS. So yeah, went up the stage, mind all blank, introduced myself, let them vote among me and few others. I dont get it why i did that

It was the voting for the Prez, probability of me gettin it is less than a pinch of sand. Its a public uni and its Malaysia. Go figure.

So this Malay gal got it, and the dean gave us the rest of us 'candidates' the remaining top posts. I was the vice prez. Nothin to be proud of

To tell the truth, i was ashame to type or even relate this matter to anyone. I really dunno what the hell i'm doin on that moment. As after the talk, all my kolej's seniors were practically dumbfounded and saying how foolish i am to make such move. Couldnt explain myself.

Tryin to be positive, I told myself, "Its ok, since i'm in it, no point regretting it now. I could learn somethin from being in it"

It wasnt as colourful as it shud turn out to be. Meetings were draggy, disorganised, activities on schedule were...let just say its non-practical.

And guess what? Everything already down the road and even goin further down. I didnt get the Shell scholarship. Instead, i sacrifice the Genting's for this foolish club involvement.
No one to blame but myself. I'm the one making this suiciding moves.

Today we had our last meeting for this semester. She(prez) told me, she and 2 other gals from the committee were chosen to go to Korea next sem. So she's expecting me to take over all of her jobs of managing the KPTS.

WTF, how could she dump everything and leave. There's still like 3 more ongoin activities next sem. Great. Just great. Its fun isnt it? Taking credit and have everything, enjoying urself there subsidize by the uni. Lesson learned, rub shoulders with ur boss.

And i still have the friggin King duty for the chinese fekon next sem

Arghhh!!!!!

Goddamnmotherfucker!

Each and everyday, i told myself, "Everything happens for a reason", "Make the best out of the worst"

I cant hold on much longer. 2 wrong turns doesnt make 1 right. The road not taken, probably its the road shouldnt be taken at all.
My sis was right all the way long. Shud never get involve in uni at all. Just go to class and go back. But i insisted to experience it more by staying there, join in a few stuffs.

And Eureeka, i lost everything.
Its a string of calamity from this whole education idea. NUS rejected me, UM rejected me, JPA, Shell,gazillion commercial banks,UEM rejected me. While i enviously(yes, i was darn envious) looking at others achieving it. We had the same qualifications, same background. Where do i belong if i dont worth any of the ground there? I dont get it.
I guess its wrong to ask for financial help and hope to get better education huh?

What do i get out of this KPTS? Nothin, the cert are no use anywhere in the universe. Business students enter the KPTS to get recognition from the faculty so they will be accepted into the accounting program as major next year. What the fuck an Econs student like me doin there? Nothin. Its pure foolish-ness. It will worth every centimeter of banging my head onto the wall.

As part of my daily overly used fav phrase
'I don't get it'

Each nite, i went to bed with a heavy head. Having all these thoughts flying around. Silently hoping and praying that i will have some sort of direction of guidance from this mess.
Of course i never had any of that lah, lol. All i get was waking up late afternoon coz i couldnt put myself to sleep each nite.
There's a few other matters but i really cant say it out here.


I think i only told Rachel bout it...bout the emptiness i felt ever since i started uni.
I never felt so unmotivated in my life before. My finals is a good way to see the actual impact. 2 days before my first paper. Not even the slightest spark or ignition to make myself study. No worries no nothin. There's no guilt during the time i'm playin or wasting time. No effort or reason to push myself

But thats how i've been feeling for the past few months. Everyday i do the routine for the sake of doin it. There's nothin i can find to look forward to.

...how in the world did i turn out like this? Numb and zombie-fied feelings.
As though my life has gone all bland and tasteless.

Gawd, this sucks.

"Everything happens for a reason"

"Have faith"

And i'm really losing grip on it soon.

...

..

.

I don't get it, i really don't

Pimp My Ride

Officially i'm pimpin up my car!!!
Added some sort of equipment to the engine, actually i still have no idea how does it work.

So yeah, a fren of my dad suggested to install this 'thingy'. So-called to increase pick-up,reduce petrol consumption and making the driving smoother. And yes, it cost 180 bucks. Its called a vacuum i suppose. Not like it makes any difference.

He's been quite persistent and persuasive tho. Being a salesman cum mechanic that he is. I was home alone and taking my usual long naps. He blardy woke me up by pressing the doorbell like gazillion times! I dun think i'm in the conscious mind during his first 'visit'. Then i was completely awake and aware of his second visit. I looked from the window, saw a man i dont recognise.

Guess what? I went back to sleep. lol. No point answering to a stranger when probably he's looking for my dad and he's not at home.

Of course its annoying, but i think after a few visits, he gets the point that there's really 'no one' at home. But anyhow, moments later my dad came back and asked me to come down and have a look how is the process of him installing it.

Yup, i guess my dad already decided to install that 'thingy' on my iswara/saga(i'm still confused which 1 is it, since on the official paper its written as Iswara but at the back its named as Saga).

Here's the modification he made

He relocated and added the tubes from the carburetor(i think, lol. i'm not the person knowing alot bout cars). He pointed to me that there's actually a tiny hole which are not in use at all. So the hole is utilized by adding the tube and linked it to the vacuum (the one in the left red circle, of course not the whole thing, its just a small part). Therefor it increase the performance of the airflow. It goes the same on the right, rewired few of the tubes. Connecting it here and there which i have no idea at all.

Damn, that sounded very risky for not knowing much bout it.

"It will increase the speed greatly. So dun go speeding out there. After installing this, this 1.3cc will feel like 1.6cc"

Yeah rite. Its only one small adjustment. As he goes on blabbering bout another customer of his installed 2 of it, and its able to outrun a Honda Civic

And now for the real test drive of it. The ignition of the engine was quite alrite i suppose. The RPM meter retains at 1000 even after i turned on my air cond.
As for the speed. It wasnt such a big difference, but yeah, it did have a slight boost. Probably bout 5-10%. Not sure bout the petrol consumption tho, will find out soon enough during my next petrol refill.

Since we're talkin bout cars, here's one of the song which stucked in my head now. I got it from the Blaupunkt advertisement. The one with the bass stereo and pink and bear hopping at the back. Lol. Its definitely a censored version here in Malaysia as they were actually humping each other at the back instead of hopping.

Here's the vid clip. Aint the nicest video around, i just like the song :)

T.A.G.

Lee San tagged me! Out of the blues, suddenly she put me as the 9th person from the tag. How can??!!
Eh,this tag is damn hard lah. Do I have any other choice?

Here it goes

8 Points About My Perfect Partner:

1. Being Polite
I do prefer my partner to be on their polite side rather than being all rowdy or awfully loud in public. Cause some ppl do tend to do that in order to gain attention from many? Or somewhat like having the idea of fun?

2. Have respect for my privacy
No, i'm not talking bout charging into my room while i'm changing clothes. Of course I wouldnt really complain bout that lah (lol, just kiddin). Yeah, i got into a fight with a fellow classmate back in Form 5 coz he took my phone and read all my msgs. So i guess in general, i wouldnt like anyone being near to my sms, emails, msgs or any sort at all. As for my partner, i prefer her not to check my 'diaries' and stalking my schedules. I'm not gonna cheat k =P

3. Have respect for my frens
"hey, stay away from him/her,cause i dont like it when u go mixing with 'em" I dont think that's the idea of sacrificing for my other half. Self-explanatory =)

4. Non-smoker
A real turn-off i suppose. Probably to other guys as well. Maybe coz i dun smoke at all, hehe. Let see, if i'm a smoker, probably its better for my partner to be the same too since she wouldnt complain bout me smoking =)

5. Outgoin And Fun!
Being reserved aint fun, being too serious aint fun. Probably i'm just too lame and nonsensical. Thats why. haha. Anyone with a DECENT amount of excitement and humour will do. Since i might get killed by someone who is way more lame (who knows?) =P

6. (Sort of) Patient and not easily agitated
Cant expect anyone to be completely patient, no one is perfect =) Yeah, an easily tempered partner might stir up alot of stuffs (in a bad way lah). Come to think of it, yeah...i cant manage my anger that well too. hehe

7. Understanding
Self-explanatory again =) That shud include knowing that i dun have any hidden meaning behind the phrase 'i'm busy rite now'. I know, laugh all you want. Since Miu Kee is barely busy. Even during exams he watches Youtube till 4am. lol. But yeah, i do get busy and sometimes tied up with some events.

8. Must be a gal/chic/lady!!!
Just to be clear i'm not havin a dude as my partner. Lol. I'm neither Chuck nor Larry. No exception for gals with XY chromosomes!

Thats it!
Do i really have to tag someone? Oh well, just a few will do. Since i doubt anyone will actually do it.
1.Sin Yee
2.Esther
3.Jean Ee
4.Sheena
5.Pearly
Enough lah...my blog traffic already so low, no use throwing out so many names =)

Hold on, by doin this tag, will it even lower my chance of getting a gal? Probably might scare them off with my 'picky' points. Darn it.
Oh well, any applicants/takers for it? Come get ur registration form.

___________________________________________

1. Gender: M/F
(If Male, please proceed to number 12)
2. Name:
3. Age:
4. Location:
5. Contact:
6. Are you really sure?: Y/N
7. You might get the wrong guy, are you really sure?: Y/N
8. Reason of applying:
9. Seriously, are you sure?:Y/N
10. Your ACTUAL gender: M/F
11. Your application will be processed shortly (wow, you're really that sure)



12. Please come for your interview on this date: 30th Feb

_________________________________________________

Happy Birthday!!!

A very happy birthday to Pearly a.k.a Donkey and Joyce Tee a.k.a Tong Heung!!!

Welcome to the world of 20's. Muahaha, now u shall feel how is it like for not having the word 'teen' in ur age =))
Look at the bright side, another year to go and ur legeally free in this world. Of course u still cant go shooting other ppl

Anyway have a nice 24 hours celebration, coz after this will be treating u 'old' folks like how u teased me 6 months ago. hehe

Here's a nice piece from the Bleach OST, enjoy :)