Untitled #3

Sometimes i felt like i'm still living with the burden on my back

...or rather the load of regrets



Came to realisation, time sometimes doesn't play any role or make any movement.
Having the very thoughts from the moment of waking up, it felt like it was just yesterday it occured. Probably even the past hour


It was never a deja vu.
It doesnt differ a tiny bit being back at the exact spot. Ignoring the fact that i've past through countless times.
Fogged up window, heavy rain drops splashes, the tail of many red lights, freezing temperature. Still felt the moment hasnt change a single bit, despite the major contrast of environment


How bout random thoughts which completely irrelevant flashes thru. Which caught u nothing but standing,staring and ponder over it again for the 76th time
The memory sure clear as hell.
No one think or count in their head for that long. Chances its just another cycle of recalling back the entire scene back to the very first step

Won't know if all of it is tiring, probably its like seeing another classmate of yours walking pass

Sometimes, hiding from the obvious doesn't quite pull the trick. Everyone saw right thru it except my very self

"Face your fear"

And your face will be over encumbered by it. Its actually priceless to have the
moment caught you unexpected. Not knowing what to do, probably the very second will be showing the true and darn honest emotions. There you go, cursing the moment where you could have hid it better.
Look at the bright side, it caught u unexpected! Should been given a head start warning right?

Live happenings. Its a bigger bummer than anyone could thought of. Observation of both sides is like gettin a big fat slap across the face, piling up another few loads into the bag o' regrets. Helpless but still thinking, "I could be in that position by now"

"If only..."

"If only i could..."

"...but I could only watch on till now"

It sucks and hurt badly. If hurt was the right word, but there was damages in certain ways. Cant be helped but to keep observing. The desire never fail to overcome the situation. I know, its bad and nothing good is coming out from it. But ignoring it seemed so far fetched.


In mere comparison, i did let go alot. Or at least die tryin to convince myself that i really did.
I guess there was a fine line after all, between agreeing and pretending.


Probably by this moment, you all will be thinking its another love sick dying tragedy story. As a grounded base, its just another chapter in it. It revolves around me more than it is vice versa.


I don't see much sense with the bunch of words above this comma, but its hard to beat the feelings and thoughts bout it.